I always thought that I am perseverant. When I start a thing, I can stick to it. I have strong ability to control myself, so I cannot easily immerse into any irrelevant thing. My girlfriend said I am a little arrogant, but I don’t agree. In my eyes, that is not arrogant, but confident.
These ideas were always bare in my mind, so I can’t feel any change in my habit and everyday life. Now I am gradually aware of the problems. As four years university life goes to the end. A lot of things have been changed. What we are going to face is society. Graduate this year is not an easy thing. To find a job, especially a better paying job is too difficult for us. Compared to others of the same period with me, I am a little lucky for I’ve already found a job in the first term of the senior- year. When I step into the society from school, my feeling is complicated. I want to do well in my job. And also have to bring a good end to my university life. I plan to learn this, and plan to learn that… but nothing has been turned into reality.
After a day’s tire work, I came to my dormitory. The only thing I want to do is to relax and have some fun. So my dream, my work, my plan, my paper…all these things are procrastinated day by day, week by week. It seems that I have dream and goal, but I didn’t start and haven’t got any detailed schedule to realize them. All these seem to be too pale.
I get up late in the morning, go to work, and then come back in the night. As long as I have time, I will surf the internet and doing some useless things. I only get my school assignments ready until the last minute, and until my teachers hasten me.
This me is quite different from the usual one. The changes were gradually, before I can aware that. I thought they can do little harm to me. But I was wrong, totally wrong. In the bottom of my heart, I don’t want to be a man like that at all. But how can I allow it happens.
I am not a perseverant man. I need change!