I haven’t post anything for quite a long time, but today was different – I felt really complicated inside myself and all sorts of emotions interlaced with one another. And suddenly I have a strong desire to share my feelings with someone.

Today is the last working day before National Day, but I didn’t think how special it is, especially to me. In the morning, I went to office and work as usual. Abundant Excel data analysis and boring copy and paste work always make me sleepy and no idle talk, no internet surfing, no on-line chat, no mind-wandering and no… in a word, no anything unrelated to work.

In order to refresh myself, I raise my head and sat up straight. Suddenly, I sensed something unusual – the whole world seemed to be brighter than any time. I looked through the window and I felt the flavor of sun. Now I noticed that it’s already autumn now. I can smell the delicate fragrance of osmanthus flowers. While looking at the bright sun outside, some delicate feelings came to mind.

This time 1 year ago, I was probably sitting in one of the classroom busy studying, or listening to one of the teacher’s interesting class, or sitting on the top of our dormitory building and enjoying the bright sun, or playing with my closest friends, or…Though I just left these beautiful time for only 3 months, but I know that I can never live this life again. Before leaving school, there are too many possibilities. Though most of my time was spent on study, I know that if I like, I could sit on the grass and play guitar or listen to others playing guitar. Though I didn’t spend too much time on gathering with my friends, I know that if I like, I can gather with them any time even all the time. However, all these things are far from me now – too far to reach.

This time 5 years ago, I was in high school. All my time are spent on study. In my mind and my parents’ minds, there was nothing more important than that. I never pay attention to any things, not alone the sunshine. No matter sun shines or not, there is nothing special to me. And when I think about that period of time now, I can feel the flavor of sun with the fragrance of osmanthus flowers. During that time, I also had many intimate friends, but now where are they? They and I just like two straight lines, we only have one intersection, which we spent in high school and from then on, our life can never relate to one another.

This time 12 years ago, I was in primary school. During that time, I was really carefree. I needn’t to care about anything. My parents had arranged everything for me. In this kind of sunny day, I was either playing crystal ball with my little pals, or sitting on bed and watching TV, or leaning on the wall of my house, which is the same age as me. During that period of time, whether it is sunny or rainy, it really had nothing to do with me. But now, my parents grow old little by little, they can’t arrange things for me anymore. I have to live my own life. I have to shoulder all the burdens myself. This feeling grew clear especially after my graduation. After two days, that will be Mid-Autumn Day, which is a reunion day for families in China, I feel guilty that I can’t stay together with my family.

In this world, there is only one sun forever. The flavor of sun will never change, only our feelings are changing. I want to tell myself and all of you, never forget to smell the flavor of sun, even we can’t see it, never to neglect any people around us, even they are not with us. We can’t live in the past, but the memory to past makes our life complete. In order to have a beautiful memory to the past, we should have a brilliant “now” – try not to leave any regret behind our footprints. During our old age, when we sit on the easy chair, enjoy the flavor of sun and recollect the past, we’ll find we are the happiest person in the world.

12/26/2010 09:39:27 am

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